Have you ever done something that you needed to be forgiven for? Have you ever asked for forgiveness only to be denied? Do you feel guilty because you have you hurt someone, intentionally or not, but have not asked to be forgiven?
I could started by asking if you are holding a grudge or if you’re angry about something, but that would have been too easy. We often choose to see ourselves as victims of hurt without realizing the amount of times we have perpetrated the hurt.
I see forgiveness as either forgiving others or forgiving ourselves. As a hypnotist, I see clients suffering from the inability to do both. The unwillingness to forgive, not to be confused with the belief that one is not ‘able’ to forgive, is the source of most of the problems my clients face. “I can’t forgive” is a common statement but it should accurately be expressed as “I don’t want to forgive” or “I don’t know how to forgive.” Forgiveness begins with recognizing the real problem. Hypnosis is the fastest way to identify a problem because it is stored in unconscious mind from the past.
Clients come to me because they feel stressed and out of control of their life. They determine that stress causes them to eat, drink, smoke, feel anxious and sleep poorly. The underlying issue is often guilt, anger or fear. Successfully dealing with these issues requires forgiveness, either self or others. Hypnosis is effective because it uncovers and addresses the root cause of the issue that allows for forgiveness. Many of my clients are harboring grudges against their parents, or holding on to anger from being bullied as a child and are consciously unaware of the cause of their anger or negative feelings. Hypnosis gets to the root and permanently removes it.
Forgiveness is defined as “the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings … lets go of negative emotions such as revenge…Forgiveness is different from condoning, excusing or pardoning or forgetting (removing awareness of the offence from consciousness), and reconciliation (restoration of a relationship). Forgiving is not saying that what was done was okay, only that it is forgiven.
One client came to me with sleep issues due to guilty feelings about his elderly mother who was mean and abusive throughout his life. He now has to care for her and the anger keeps him awake at night so he uses drugs to sleep. He hates himself for his feelings. After a few sessions he was able to forgive his mom realizing she had been a victim herself. He forgave himself for harboring the old grudges and was able to sleep soundly without medication.
When you change the way you look at something, the thing you look at changes. Life comes with pain and pleasure, happiness and misery. The secret to enjoying life is to focus on the positive and be willing to let go, or forgive the misery. You always have a choice. What if the hurt from the past could be seen as a lesson of life? Learn from the lesson and let go of the pain by forgiving.
If you are tired of bearing the burdens of the past with guilt or anger, consider hypnosis to move on to have the happy life you deserve. You are not defined by your mistakes, but by the way you handle them. Learn how to forgive others and yourself.
Check my website for workshops coming up to learn to reduce stress and live happier!