We have all been raised to believe in the American way that includes the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. There are many who tie their happiness to a future event, I can’t be happy until…or I won’t be happy unless… Since all hypnosis is self –hypnosis, I encourage my clients to change that thought to: “I am happy and if that happens, I will be happier!” Focusing on those things in your life that you can be happy about, also referred to as gratitude, can be very therapeutic. It doesn’t change anything except how you feel! My goal is to help my clients ‘feel’ better.
Recently I have had several clients who, while in hypnosis, state that ‘eating ice cream’ or ‘smoking that cigarette’ makes them happy. Then, there is the part of them that would be really happy if they lost weight or stopped smoking. There is a constant inner subconscious battle over how to achieve the elusive goal of happiness. I believe life was meant to be a playground, not a battleground! If you notice, all these things I mentioned are going on inside the mind. People are constantly fighting with themselves. Unfortunately no one seems to be winning the battle. The internal battle often includes self-loathing, frustration, disappointment and feeling like a failure. These feelings clearly interfere with other aspects of ones life and that includes the pursuit of happiness.
I have learned that instead of hating the part of them who wants to do the bad habit, embrace it with the understanding that it just wants to make you happy. You have programmed yourself, unconsciously at some point to believe that you get pleasure or happiness from that bad habit. Because you created that belief, you can change it. Instead of happiness or pleasure, associate the habit, in your mind, with the consequence of the behavior. Focus on that consequence and notice the feelings that go along with that consequence. You change the happiness or pleasure program to one that is dangerous or repulsive. Repeating that thought over and over again will create a new program. Allow your parts to come together and negotiate a compromise that will allow both parts to integrate with the same outcome…happiness. The part of you that wants junk doesn’t want you to be fat, just feel good. It doesn’t know that fat doesn’t feel good. The part of you that wants to smoke isn’t trying to kill you; it’s trying to comfort you to help you to feel happy. When your parts work together in harmony they create a new way for you to get relief, comfort, pleasure and happiness with the negative outcome of the bad habit.
I have made it sound simple because it is! Its just not always easy… but with effort and 100% commitment, it is much easier than you imagined it would be to make the changes. Understanding that all parts of you generally have positive intentions can help you love yourself while finding creative ways to achieve comfort or pleasure without the behaviors that have disgusting or unhealthy outcomes.