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Saturday, August 01 2015
Why Am I My Own Worst Enemy?

This sentiment is old but has withstood the test of time.  What does it really mean? What does an enemy do to us that we sometimes to do to ourselves? People we consider enemies often make us feel demeaned, treat us unfairly, focus on our weaknesses, overly criticize us and try to make us feel guilt or shame at every opportunity. They want us to fail. They bring out the worst in us. Our enemies hold grudges against us and remind us of our past failures and mistakes. I'm wondering, as you read this, if any of these thoughts resonate with you. Are you doing any of this to yourself?

Recently a woman came to me because she was feeling depressed.  She was feeling guilty that she was not doing enough for her mother, who was very demanding. At the same time, she was taking care of her child working full time as a single mom. She was pulled in every direction and was feeling completely depleted.  She was over eating and feeling out of control around food.  She found herself saying negative things to herself. She felt shame for feeling resentful and helpless to overcome those feelings. She had clearly become her ownworst enemy. She could not forgive herself for resenting her mom and was really being hard on herself. Her mom was constantly criticizing her and she repeated those sentiments to herself in her mind. She called herself fat and selfish and that became her belief about herself.

Another client said he felt like a loser because his girlfriend broke up with him and he felt unworthy of anyone else. Even though the relationship wasn't good he felt badly that it ended. He recalled that when he was in high school he was called a loser, he still believed that was true and could not get that out of his mind. Both clients allowed others to define the way they saw themselves. When we repeat negative things to ourselves, when we are overcritical and demean ourselves, when we cannot forgive ourselves for mistakes made in the past, we become our own worst enemy.  Shame and guilt are powerful negative emotions that prevent us from finding happiness and being successful. I was able to help them both eliminate those unwanted beliefs and become kinder and friendlier to themselves.

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you say unkind things to yourself? Where did those ideas come from? Do you focus on your worst qualities? Do you constantly remind yourself of your past mistakes? Do you compare yourself to others and always fall short?  If you answered yes to any of those, you are your own worstenemy!

Are you willing to change your perspective? What if you could see that those things may have been true in the past but that they're no longer true for you? What would it feel like to see yourself differently? Hypnosis can help you do those things you have not been able to do yourself by communicating with the part of the mind where those old, outdated negative beliefs are stored. Why not become your own best friend?
Posted by: Fern Tausig AT 11:56 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
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