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Wednesday, May 14 2014
In Pursuit Of Happiness
Happiness has been the subject of many studies, and the results are in. According to “The Greater Good” at The University of CA at Berkeley, people who are happy are less likely to get sick, are more likely to be successful, have more friends, are more likely to get married and are more productive at work. The most obvious question then becomes “How can I find happiness?” Happiness can seem elusive until you realize that happiness has no real definition, so you can actually choose to define it any way you want.
Sometimes it seems selfish to think about our own happiness when there are so many awful things happening in the world. However, life is so short that we should strive to be as happy as possible, as often as possible, for as long as possible. Bad things happen, but we have a choice as to how we allow it to affect us. We can focus on those bad things and feel miserable, or we can choose to be grateful for the positive things in our lives and feel happy. My mother once shared a quote with me that always reminded me of that choice. “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.” Sometimes a little perspective can make a big difference.
Things that make you happy can be divided into categories: an event, an accomplishment, something pleasurable, a healthy, meaningful life. The list is endless. People speak about happiness in future terms: “I will be happy when…or I can’t be happy until…”
What if you decided that what you are now is happy, and if something good happens you can be happier? How would your life be different if you believed you are happy now? A belief is only a thought that gets repeated over and over again.
There are 5 keys to happiness:
- You must believe you deserve to be happy.
- You must expect to be happy.
- You have to be able to imagine or visualize being happy.
- You need to learn how to control your thoughts.
- You need to be able to recognize when you are happy.
Abraham Lincoln said, 'Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.' So, what if you chose to be happy, how do you find it?
Here are a few helpful hints:
- Find a purpose. Viktor Frankl said, “The pursuit of happiness is a meaningless search because happiness is the byproduct of a meaningful life.”
- Ask yourself, “How can I serve others?”.
- Learn an “attitude of gratitude” and count your blessings
- Examine your rules. Albert Ellis said that we make rules for ourselves and we become slaves to them. What rules have you made that are getting in the way of your happiness? You made the rules, change them!
- Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have.
- Don’t compare yourself to anyone. Comparison is often at the root of unhappiness.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you can’t find happiness. Sometimes we need someone to help us eliminate guilt and fear so we can be open and feel deserving of happiness. Hypnosis is the fastest, most effective way to eliminate negative, old, unwanted feelings.
Wednesday, May 15 2013
In light of the recent tragedy in Boston, many people are asking the logical question: What is in someone’s mind that drives them to randomly killing innocent people? The answer, “they” say, is complex. As a certified hypnotist, to me, it is not that complex.
My goal is to help you understand how the mind works. Once you understand the mind, you can get it to work for you instead of against you.
We have two distinctly different minds, conscious and unconscious.
The unconscious is also called subconscious. The conscious mind is logical, rational and analytical but only a small part of you mind. The unconscious mind, larger, contains emotions, beliefs, habits and memories and cannot distinguish between right and wrong, true or false. Its goal is comfort and protect us. It protects us against danger, real or imagined.
When we are born, our minds are like a blank hard drive of a computer. Our experiences, the good, the bad, and the ugly, create our programming. Throughout our life we get programmed and reprogrammed. Some programming is voluntary; attending classes, join religious groups, or political groups etc. We expose our selves to those thoughts or beliefs the group. Thoughts create feelings and feelings create behaviors. A belief is a thought that you, or someone else, repeats over and over again. When that thought comes with passion and comes from someone you respect or feel connected with, it has a lot of power. Think about the beliefs you have gotten from your parents. Some of them were good and empowering, while others were damaging and filled with unnecessary fears and hate. There are beliefs you got in school from your peers, some were bullies or out of ignorance or jealousy, made you feel insecure. Sometimes the influence comes from another source, video games, in the case of children and adults who watch them. While watching video games, or TV, we are actually in a state of hypnosis and very susceptible to mind changing feelings.All those old thoughts, feelings and beliefs are kept in the unconscious mind until replaced with a more powerful or compelling belief. Even though the video experiences are not real, the unconscious mind does not understand that, and there in lies is the danger.
Values are beliefs we hold dear to us and they influence all of our thoughts and feelings. When we behave in a way that goes against our values, we feel guilty. When the thoughts about a behavior are supported by our values, or the values we adopted from someone else, the convictions become stronger and the behaviors appear justified in our mind. When someone else’s values or opinions are imposed on us, we have a choice. We can reject or accept the opinions of others. When we have poor self esteem, we are easily influenced by others.
When you stop and analyze your self-talk or the thoughts that keep repeating in your mind, ask yourself a few questions: Are the thoughts positive or negative? Who first said that to you? What if they were wrong or mistaken? Are your thoughts or feelings based on old, out dated information that your unconscious mind could not filter? What would you rather think or feel about yourself? Begin by creating a new message in your self-talk that brings you closer to feeling the way you want to feel and disregard all the old thoughts and beliefs that are getting in the way of your personal success. Self-talk in my business is called self-hypnosis. You can create the reality you want by taking control of your thoughts and beliefs. Do it now, before someone else does!
Tuesday, January 29 2013
In Ancient China there was a saying: "May you live in interesting times." It was considered to be as much a curse as anything. Sometimes the most difficult times are the most interesting, most challenging and often the most rewarding. They often test us by creating obstacles, and occasionally they bring out the best in us. It all depends on how you choose to see your challenges. Many people are held back from succeeding because they have a fear of failure.
The most successful among us are often those who have suffered the most failures but they did not see them as failures. They describe them as challenges or learning experiences. They expected them, faced them, overcame them and became successful because of them. What if you knew you could not fail, you could only learn more lessons?
The times we are living in are nothing, if not interesting. Interesting, however, can also feel overwhelming, confusing and paralyzing! We have so many decisions to make and we perceive that we have either too many, or not enough, choices. Wouldn’t it be nice to have an objective, professional partner to guide you through your interesting times? Wouldn't you like a nonjudgmental, skilled partner to help you to clarify your goals and negotiate your challenges?
Traditional talk therapy used to be the only option. Many of my clients report that they have been in therapy for years without much noticeable change in their situation, but today you have better, more effective choices. Most traditional therapy focuses on one problem area or issue at a time. It also primarily focuses on the past and analyzing the cause of the problem. Ten years ago, using a life coach was barely an option and now, life coaching has evolved to a whole new art form that can include hypnosis.
Hypno Coaching is the most direct way to move your life forward to the next level. We all have challenges in our lives where we feel temporarily unable to think clearly, make decisions, unable to find the energy to feel satisfied or feel joy. We just feel stuck! Coaching focuses on the client from the present and emphasizes moving forward. You learn to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. You learn to focus on creating goals based on your core values and are coached toward reaching those goals. Coaching does not diagnose, treat or cure mental or emotional problems and is not a substitute for other professional help. Hypno Coaching works with the client as a whole being and helps them regain control of their life. No one would consider taking up a sport without using a coach to learn the skills, strategies and rules of the game to perform to the best of their ability. Life can be seen as a game in that there are challenges and rules and we all want to win. Coaches help you to develop strategies, skills and plans to accomplish your goals. The better your strategies and life skills, the more success you experience. Many of us want or need help to develop and refine our life skills so we can compete and excel in our lives. Hypno Coaching supports both personal and professional goals.
Unlike sports, the rules of life and relationships keep changing, requiring new strategies and different kinds of strengths to move forward. The blending of hypnosis, life coaching skills and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), tools help you to achieve more than you ever thought possible. The results are easier, quicker and more effective than personal coaching or traditional therapy alone. It is the best remedy for feeling stuck! HypnoCoaching includes the use of both conscious and subconscious processes to help you transform your dreams into reality. The process includes helping you clarify your goals, create action plans, making commitments and overcoming obstacles toward achieving a successful and fulfilling life of your choice.
Often the most important parts of a HypnoCoach’s challenge are to help you imagine, picture and define what your fulfilled life is. If you can imagine it, you can have it! Hypno Coaching is more affordable than both traditional hypnosis and traditional therapy. After the initial consultation, Hypno Coaching is done on the phone, except when a face-to-face hypnosis session is needed. You don’t need to leave your home; you just need to make time, usually 30 minutes a week. Hypnosis CD’s are created for you and provided as part of the service. HypnoCoaching is appropriate for anyone who has experienced the inability to feel satisfied in his or her life, anyone in transition, or anyone who recognizes that what he or she has been doing so far to manage their life is not working for them.
Come join Fern Tausig at the Milford Library on Feb. 4, at 7 pm and ask all the questions you may have about Hypnosis or Hypno Coaching.
For a free phone consult about HypnoCoaching, call 203 283 4567 or email Fern at myHealingHypnosis@gmail.com.
Saturday, January 12 2013
If you have tried EVERYTHING else to get relief from those negative emotions and the physical discomfort they have created, it’s time to tap those old feelings away. If you haven’t already heard about the amazing phenomenon of ‘tapping’, let me be the first to enlighten you! Although tapping is not new, it is only beginning to find its way into the mainstream of health and wellness modalities. Tapping, also known as EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, has been one of the modalities used by hypnotists for a very long time. It is now also being used by therapists of all kinds, including chiropractors.
Why, because it works! It works on emotional, as well as, physical issues with amazing success. It is something you learn to do and then independently continue to enjoy its benefits.
So, what exactly is this EFT and how and why does it work? The theory that supports EFT is based on the Chinese system of Health that states that energy flows through our bodies along pathways called meridians. If the energy is blocked or disturbed for any reason, ranging from stress and trauma, to bacteria and toxins, it creates dis-ease which can evolve into disease at worst and negative feelings, at best. The Chinese use needles, massage and herbs to unblock or move the energy. Tapping is an acupressure technique that mimics those processes. EFT is a process that uses gentle tapping on the ends of specific meridians to alter the energy of the body. It is a process similar to rebooting your computer. The process is a combination of verbal statements and physical tapping. I have successfully used this technique with children who had nightmares and anxiety, as well as adults with migraines and emotional or physical distress of all kinds.
As a certified hypnotist and coach, I am dedicated to helping clients become their personal best and I always use the most effective technique to accomplish that end. I use EFT, however, with almost every client because it is effective in most situations. The results are always immediate. The issue to work on is measured on a scale of 1-10 of intensity and then measured again after tapping. It is the only therapy I know that has the benefit of immediate relief
You may wonder how you can use EFT. First observe where you are in your life. Look at the chronic physical or emotional discomfort you may feel in your body. Most people convert emotional distress into physical distress and don’t know how to release it... Listen to your self - talk, if it is negative, you can also change that with EFT.
If you would like more information on EFT, hypnosis or hypno-coaching, or if you would like to reserve a spot at this workshop you can contact Fern Tausig at myHealingHypnosis@gmail.com or www.myHealingHypnosis.com. You can also call 203-283-4567 for a free phone consult with Fern.
For You and
Past Life Regression