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Thursday, June 18 2015
Does Everyone Worry?

Does Everyone Worry?

The short answer is yes. At some time or other we all worry about something. However, some people take it to an extreme where it controls their life and becomes the center of their daily thoughts.  Many hear themselves asking "what if…happens?"  If you worry too much it will have a negative effect on your physical, mental and spiritual life.  Excessive worrying stimulates feelings of nervousness or anxiety.  The brain then sends chemicals through your body that creates tightening of muscles, increased heart rate, increase in blood pressure etc.  If the muscles of your neck get tight, you experience headaches. If the muscles of your back get tense, you experience backaches. If the muscles of your stomach get tense, you experience digestive problems, and so on.  And, of course with the mind busy worrying, sleep becomes a problem.  You can easily find a medicine for every condition listed above.  Too many people have learned to depend on medicine try to make them feel more comfortable, however, every medicine that does one thing good as many undesirable side effects. Since thoughts create feelings, and feelings create behaviors, worrying creates overeating, over drinking, and all the problems that is created by those problems. 

Many people believe if they don't worry and something happens they will be unprepared. Others believe if they don't worry, something awful will happen. Some believe that if they enjoy themselves and feel happy, it won't last long anyway. I have had many clients tell me that their mothers were worriers and that's what they learned to do.  The good news is that anything that is learned can be relearned in a better way. Worrying can be contagious so avoid people who try to spread negative worry.

Worry is not about what is happening now, it is always about the future.  Since most of us cannot predict the future, we have clear choices.  We can realize that the present has no danger and therefore be in the moment and enjoy it.  We can change the way we look at something and we will change the way we feel about it. A good example of this is being in an unhealthy relationship. We worry that if it ends "I will be alone," but instead we can think "if it ends, I can be free to find a healthy relationship and that being alone is better than being unhappy." Another example is being out of work looking for a job. Some may worry that "I may never find a job."  Instead we can think, "there are so many jobs out there, I will definitely find one that is right for me." Both positions may be right but one makes you feel awful and hopeless while the other one makes you feel empowered and optimistic. Which would you choose.

I have a client that is so angry at her husband because he doesn't take care of his health.  I suggested she focus on loving and enjoying him now because no one knows what tomorrow can bring. Her response was, "that's going to be hard!" My response to her was, "what if you're wrong?" What if it is not hard and, if it is hard, do it anyway." Hard doesn't make it impossible, just more of a challenge. Living with worry is hard!!

If you want to stop worrying, here are a few tips from the experts: Dale Carnegie, from his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: “First ask yourself: What is the worst thing that could happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.” Realize that you will handle whatever comes whether you worry about it or not. From Eckart Tolle’s The Power of Now, is to remind oneself to be in “the present moment.” The idea is that the negative thought process generated by the ego in the mind, can only exist in the past or the future. By reminding ourselves to be in the present moment, that negative thought process cannot affect us.

Learn to eliminate the "what if" pattern and replace it with strategies for solutions and then, let it go! You will probably never even need those strategies, but they are already in place.

Learn to take slow deep breaths often and focus on the blessings in your life. Focus on what you have not to be grateful for and realize you are happy now and enjoy that feeling NOW!

Posted by: Fern Tausig AT 06:07 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Thursday, June 11 2015

Getting The Sleep You Want

Do you have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep? Are you afraid that you can't sleep? Have you been grinding your teeth or clenching your jaw and feeling pain in the morning? Are you taking medication to help you sleep?

Jaw clenching and teeth grinding are a result of unresolved stress. You can release the underlying issues that are causing the problem and learn to sleep with your jaw slightly parted. I recently saw a client who has gone through several expensive mouth guards because she clenched so hard that they break under the pressure. After her first session she reported sleeping well without any clenching. She had been suffering with anxious feelings for years and when they were resolved with hypnosis, her sleep improved! Resolving doesn’t mean the issues go away, it only means you don’t worry or stress over them anymore.

I see many clients with a variety of problems or fears around sleep. It is one of the most misunderstood things we all do every night. Everyone sleeps. It's as simple as that. Why then, is it that so many people struggle with it?

I met a woman who told me that she doesn't sleep. I said to her, “That is really cool! How long have you been awake?" She said, "Well, I sleep every night, but... you know what I mean." I told her no, I don't know what she means and asked her how long has she been telling herself that? First of all, it's a lie! She sleeps every night, just not as long or as well as she would like. Sleep patterns are like habits that can be changed. Changing a habit requires a desire and a belief that you can change.

People come to me to get off of the drugs their doctor prescribed to help them sleep. There are drugs to help you fall asleep, stay asleep and to relax you enough to sleep. These drugs can be addictive as they promote a fear that you cannot sleep without them. Remember, a belief is nothing more than a thought that you repeat over and over again. It's not necessarily true, but it's your belief. If you believe you can’t sleep…you can’t!

You already know that fears and beliefs are in your mind and can be changed or replaced with a new belief...a new reality. Hypnosis is the fastest, most effective way to change a habit or belief that is no longer working for you.

All hypnosis is self- hypnosis and when you tell yourself you can't sleep, the unconscious mind, the part of your mind that cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy, accepts the belief and keeps you awake. When you begin to tell yourself something different...that becomes the new truth. Hypnosis helps to make that happen. It doesn't always happen in one session but when you learn self-hypnosis, you CAN sleep without medication permanently!

Here are some tips to improve sleep:

1. Instead of telling yourself you can’t sleep, say, “I can’t stay awake” and repeat it over and over. You will fall asleep.

 2. Keep a pad and paper next to your bed and write down anything you want to remember for tomorrow. 

3. Imagine your mind as a white board and when you are in bed and ready to sleep, erase it!

4. Begin a ritual of winding down before bed, imagining and thinking about sleeping soundly as though you expect it.

5. Take 3 long slow deep breaths when you get into bed to relax. Breathe in for the count of 5, hold for 5 and release for the count of 10.

6. If you wake up, erase again repeat above steps.

Sleep is natural and everyone sleeps. Eliminate the mystery and fear and feel confident that you can do it. Learn self -hypnosis to make the change permanent!

Posted by: Fern Tausig AT 09:55 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
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